The chapter on communication provided some
ideas for improving communication. Are any of these ideas helpful to you?
For
the blog this week, make 1 post of 200 words or 2 of 100 words each. You can
also comment or expand on another student's posting.
You can describe how you plan to apply some of
the ideas in this chapter to improving communication with your children, boss,
friends or parents or anyone who is important in your life.
You can also read the scenarios below and
use your knowledge of personality type to suggest ways to improve the
communication. For a quick review of personality type, click on Do What You Are
on the front page of your portfolio on CollegeScope. You can comment on
one or more of the scenarios. Remember
to think about personality type and how it influences communication as you
write your comments.
Scenario 1 (E and I):
Mary and Carol are roommates and are
discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset
because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter
Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking
in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
Scenario 2 (S and N):
A sensing type and an intuitive type are on a
first date. What is each likely to talk about?
Scenario 3 (T and F):
Rachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
Scenario 4 (J and P):
Students in a business class are assigned as a
group project to design a business plan. This is an evening class and has
mostly adults who have busy schedules with work, family and school. Mike is a
highly motivated student who wants to get the group organized and complete the
project quickly. Mike is getting irritated at John because he cannot decide on
a topic and get going. John keeps coming up with different creative ideas for
the business plan. John is getting irritated at Mike because he thinks that
Mike is trying to control the group. How can this group work together to
complete a successful project?
Scenario 4: I feel that Mike and John both need to have clear communication to allow each other to know how the other is feeling. Keeping it bottled up is not going to help solve the problem. First they need to take turns openly listening to each other. One way to do this is by talking less and listening to the other person more. By first listening with the intent to understand, they will better have a strong understanding of what the other person wants and feels. Another way is to limit any distractions. This is especially necessary during important conversations to better help you focus on what is being said. After listening clearly they should both ask each other questions. This will show your interest and also give you a better idea of what the other person is saying so0 that you can better solve the problem. Lastly they both should strive to express themselves with use of “I statements” such as : I feel irritated, I feel frustrated, I want, or I need. Use of these statements give clear expression of what each one feels and needs. By communicating clearly they will be able to schedule a time that benefits both parties as well as discuss the project.
ReplyDeleteGood examples of applying the principles of communication.
DeleteIt is important to have a good comunication skills now and for the future in order to communicate better with children, people at work, classmates, and more! When I have children in the future, I will be many and many years older than my children, which means we will have different points of views, and different thoughts, different ideas as well, and different experiences. I try to keep my thoughts open to others and maintain good communication skills with them and understand their age and they way they think. Even though our interests and thoughts would be different, but at the same time, it will be interesting. As we learned in this chapter, two people of the same interests and habits who get married, usually end up having a boring life, unlike those who are different. Also, in order to have better communication skills with the people i work with, I must learn to listen carefully when others talk to me so I can get my job 100% right and accurate. I also need to get rid of as much distractions as possible to be able to focus very well. I also must learn to do one thing at once, either listen or talk, chose just one.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I like your last statement about doing one thing at a time. These days we are so distracted by cell phones that it is difficult to communicate.
DeleteScenario 1
ReplyDeleteIn this scenario Mary is an extrovert, while Carol is clearly an introvert. Mary is angry about the late bill payment and determined to assign blame (which Carol may well deserve), but which offers nothing towards finding a solution to the problem. As Mary becomes more combative and angry, Carol (the introvert) continues trying to retreat from the conflict. Carol simply can’t deal with the emotional strain and eventually bails on the conversation entirely, leaving Mary in possession of the field of battle but with no solution to the underlying problem.
A far more effective approach would be for Mary to tone things down and to simply state the situation as it is (i.e. the late phone bill, the loss of service, the additional fees incurred, etc.) She should calmly ask what went wrong, and then do her best to hear Carol out and find out why she failed to pay the bill on time. Was she short of cash? Did she simply forget? Did she just break up with her boyfriend? Was she under extra pressure in her college workload? Understanding why the event happened will help both Mary and Carol to avoid a repeat of the event, and their relationship as roommates might actually be strengthened if they can work through this issue in a polite and courteous manner.
Good ideas for improving communication and minimizing conflict. Also good understanding of personality type and communication.
DeleteI do plan to incorporate some of these ideas to my everyday life. Obviously, I communicate with people on an everyday basis, and a lot of these ideas will come in handy for work and family and friends. With work, I want to make sure that what I communicate with my coworkers gets understood correctly, and vice versa. Miscommunications happen a lot working at a fast food restaurant like Chick-fil-A, so it would be awesome to keep these at a minimum. I also want to work on expressing my feelings to my family in a good way, like with those "I" statements.
ReplyDeleteMary needs to realize that speaking louder and quicker isn't gonna help Carol respond at all. And Carol needs to realize that you're supposed to pay your bills on time. But regarding the communication, Mary should learn to let Carol have the floor to explain herself, otherwise she's not even going to attempt it. Shouting at an introvert will not help whatsoever. Its no wonder that she just left the room, she probably can't deal with the way Mary is acting. It would be better for Mary to calmly sit down and allow Carol to have an opportunity to explain herself.
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
ReplyDeleteWith this Scenario I would tell them both that A. They are married and being married comes with sacrifices. Rachel needs reassurance and Jim thinks that being married to Rachel shows within itself that he loves you. The best way for these two to fix this kind of problem is Rachel telling Jim that she needs him to reassure her that he loves her. It shouldn't be hard for a man to tell his wife that he loves her and if it is then they shouldn't be married to begin with. The first step to communicating is stating the problem let it be put in the air. Jim feels that being married to her shows he loves her so if he doesn't want to tell her he loves her then he should atleast sit her down and say look babe I am married to you that right there should tell you I love you. That would make a huge difference. Everybody needs reassurance. Rachel should try switching the sides and asking Jim how he would feel if he wanted to be told he was loved and his wife didn't want to tell him. Looking at situations in another persons eyes could change a lot. Communication is key in a relationship and that's all these two need.
Good application of communication techniques and understanding of different personality types.
DeleteJust like in many relationship, communications seem one sided. When Mary is yelling, Carol feels upset and even though she might want to interject and tell Mary how she feels, Mary might not always give her a chance to speak. They can improve their communication many different ways. However, I feel that they need to start with “I” statements. Mary should talk calmly about how she feels using these “I” statements and Carol should do the same. Yelling doesn’t usually get anywhere and makes the fight bigger than it has to get. People often times forget to listen. Maybe if Mary gave Carol a chance to talk and give her reasons as to why she paid the phone bill late, Mary might understand and they can come up with some common ground and compromise. There also might be a distinction between their personality types as well. Mary might be a judger that works well with schedules and being organized. If Carol is not this type of personality, it can aggravate Mary. I think they should talk and understand each other’s personality type as well and figure out how to work together with this factored in. If Mary is in fact a judger, maybe she should be in charge of making sure bills are paid timely.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHow can knowing I am ENTJ help me better interact with others.
E (Extraverted) N (Intuitive) T (Thinking) J (Judging)
I decided to consider how my strengths and weaknesses help and hurt how I interact in my work environment with my co-workers. I work in an office environment with a lot of different personalities and we exist in high stress situations. Communication becomes even more important I believe when working in high stress fields. Being an Extravert helps in that I am able to actively engage with my coworkers to be productive and get work done. I am willing to reach out to resolve issues, even things that involve conflict because it’s constructive even when it occasionally can be temporarily uncomfortable. Being Intuitive helps in that I am often trying to gauge situations, underlying issues, and subtext to resolve issues in ways that do not perpetuate conflict and get the job done. The Thinking part of my personality promotes an attention to detail necessary to interact with multiple people and their needs and communicate my abilities and expectations. I value fairness and treating people equally and I think that helps me navigate complicated interactions in the work place. The Judger characteristics I think that can help me at work are that I am able to focus on what people are saying to me and even when I am not communicating best or not understanding 100% of what people are trying to convey to me I don’t give up. I keep trying to find ways to resolve issues and make my work environment a pleasant place to be.
Excellent analysis of personality type and communication.
DeleteI can improve my communication and listening skills by look for the Main Point. I should be patient when someone talk too much and listen to find the main points. Ask Questions. I prefer to ask question if I don’t understand something. Feed Back Meaning. I believe it’s so important to do that because may be the speaker say one thing and mean something else, may be the speaker say something doesn’t mean it, or speak in a way that cause confusion. In order to feed back meaning, I should restate what has been said, and Ask for clarification. Some common mistakes that people make when trying to resolve problems and communicate effectively are: We should not criticize others it means Makin g negative evaluations of others by saying, “It's your fault” or “I told you so” causes anger. If we call someone a name or put a label on them, they will attack us rather than communicate with us in any meaningful way. . Giving advice may be viewed as talking down to a person. It’s not likely to use Ordering or commanding in request. When we try to control someone by making threats or Moralizing, causes dissatisfaction. Changing the subject to talk about our own problems tells the person that we do not care about him. When we want to communicate effectively, we should respect the other person's feelings and different point of view.
ReplyDeleteIn the case of Mary and Carol not being able to communicate well when it comes to bills. Mary is an extrovert and is choosing to approach the matter straight forward and asking carol why she is having a difficult time to pay the phone bill on time, instead she should have just let it go and leave the matter be until it happens again. Since Mary is an extrovert she ignores her friends feelings and keeps on pressing, although this isn't marys fault. Her concern probably comes a good place. It is very apparent that carol is an introvert and doesn't deal with one on one confrontation well and she chooses to recoil within her self and just try to wait for Mary to stop talking, for her she wishes Mary just let it go. Together these two girls need to take action and overcome there natural instinct to just be them selves. They need to try and look at themselves objectively because they will then see how they could change there actions to bring out a positive situation. The first step in doing this is Mary not pressuring this situation so much because it really isn't a big deal but if she misses more payments then that's you mention something. And carol needs try and just own up to what she did and take control of this situation by saying she's in charge of the phone bill and it will be paid every month. This will make Mary back off. There is a compromise here they just need to recognize what it is and take action.
ReplyDeleteHaving great communication skills is a key thing in life and improving communication skills can really help in every aspect. Some ways you can improve communication skills is by making sure that you understand the person your communicating with. Is it a friend, stranger, co-worker or classmate. Depending on the person conversations can go many different ways and the way you communicate also changes. One important way to communicate no matter who it is is by not putting the blame on anyone. Instead when discussing something thats upsetting, use words such as I feel or I want, vs you this and you that. Another way to improve communication is by listening or asking questions to understand if your not sure what the other person is saying
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
ReplyDeleteThey can improve their communication by listening to each other and attempting to appreciate one another's feelings. A mariage is a delicate thing that is intended to last forever and it is important that they not let disagreement and argument define their time together. Obviously Rachel is feeling neglected and unloved and her confrontation should have been better received by Jim. Instead of saying that "[he] would not have married [her] had he not loved [her]" Jim could have reassured Rachel that he indeed does love her and asked her more questions to uncover the reason for her claim. By taking the time to appreciate how Rachel is feeling Jim can ensure that the two of them will weather whatever tests their mariage incurs. By ignoring the problem Jim fosters resentment between him and his wife only exacerbating a seemingly minor conflict. Ample time must always be taken to engage in meaningful dialogue. The more Rachel and Jim listen to one another the more they will find that they are able keep their mariage on a happy and long lasting trajectory.
This is a great way of a scenario to show communication. I like the way you explained the marriage and what jim could have done differently to change it
DeleteGreat ideas for improving communication in marriage. Good job!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMary and Carol are roommates and are discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
ReplyDeleteMary and Carol are the opposites and they need to both understand each other’s differences. It is understandable why Mary would be upset at Carol for paying the phone bill late: late fees, disconnection of service, and maybe even more fees to connect their service. However, Mary needs to take a couple of hours or a day to come back to normal level state of mind and then re-think of the scenario she just went through with her roommate. Mary may even be confused why Carol left the room. I think Mary also needs to realize she made an error by talking too much and too loud when talking to her roommate about paying the phone bill too late. What Mary and Carol should do is discuss with each other how paying the phone bill can be prevented and how making one person feel attacked can be fixed. A way for the roommates to effectively work with each other, for example, if Carol is not the organized type and forgets things, Mary could remind Carol to pay the phone bill a few days before the due date. Another way to improve their communication, Carol can tell Mary, “ I get upset when I am yelled at or scolded for forgetting to a pay a bill, instead of saying, “You upset me when you talk over me when I forget to pay the phone bill.”
Mary and Carol are roommates and are discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
ReplyDeleteMary and Carol are room mates therefore have some sort of freindship or relationship, whether it be close or not. Also, to take into account, being a room mate requires responsibility from all parties which includes how to deal with the other individual(s). Mary is obviously more outspoken than Carol which already causes a problem in that carol is having a hard time saying what she would like to say. This in turn provides Mary with more opportunites to voice her opinion leaving Carol disheartened and angry. Better communication can be reached with more listening on Marys part and also better wording. Mary can use I and you statements more effectively so as to not cause a major conflict. Carol also must take responsibility for her actions and speak up so Mary doesnt feel like she is being taken advantage of.
I will use a lot more of these tools in my daily life. Not only in my relationship, but also with my friends and children, and the people I encounter. I need to listen more and speak less. Take into consideration that it is important to the other person talking, regardless of weather or not it matters to me. I usually am a very good listener when others need to vent or share their things. I mirror their conversations, and let them know that their feelings and thoughts are valid. I can improve my communication and relationships by being more open minded and not allowing myself to jump to conclusions and assume I know, or even that the other person knows exactly what I meant. I will ask questions when necessary in order to be able to provide a better response and acquire better understanding. I will practice on communicating my feelings and opinions in a positive way as to not offend someone else. I like to think of myself as fair. However, these are times when I haven't been. I will continue to listen without passing judgement and get all the facts. I will listen and provide feedback that is positive and appropriate, and benefitial to the person, only when asked for.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas for improving communication in your personal life. Good job!
DeleteI can improve my communication skills with my kids by listening to what they have to say instead of interrupting them and trying to make them in turn listen to what I have to say. Because of the obvious age gap, I feel sometimes disconnected with my kids because as a parent, I do not necessarily share the same interests as them. When we come into conflict with one another, we argue like everyone else. But I know that I have to improve my communication skills with them in order to convey to them clearly and in turn understand what they have to say as well. To do that, I have to listen. Listening without interrupting gives them the chance to say whatever they have to say off their chests and it will make me understand them better because I am not interrupting them, instead I am focusing on what they are trying to say. I think by learning this skill, we can eliminate miscommunication or hurt feelings between us and will end up resolving the argument amiably between us. I think miscommunication is a big part of why we argue, because we don't hear what the other one is saying because we're shouting over one another. If we be quite to listen, then we can understand the other better and resolve the situation.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas for improving communication with children.
DeleteAs a result of my personality type, I am more of an introvert and as a result am more guarded and take a longer time opening up to new people. This makes it a little bit harder to make new friends. One idea that I found that might be helpful would be to make more of an effort to open up, so that people can get to know me better. Another idea would be to minimize the amount of distractions around so that I can focus more on the conversation at hand and not be confused on what to say next. A third idea is to listen more and not give advice, unless asked to. Next, I believe that by restating what was asked from the speaker would help me to understand what the speaker was saying if I did not know it before, while it also shows that I was paying attention and care for what the other person was saying. Lastly, I learned that by letting people express their feelings on a topic without saying something like “Don’t feel sad” will not only make the situation worse, it will also help the other person to alleviate what feelings they have which can then help me to help them as a result of them being in a more calm state of mind.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is big key in life. I believe communication makes the world go round because without understanding the individual and interacting there will be no change being done and we would just have to predict. I can better my communication by understanding and listening to my friends on what they have to say instead of interrupting and jumping into conclusions. Whether I know it or not that is why some communication is bad because one does not listen to what the other says so I think understanding one another is big key in communicating which I should change slowly but surely.
ReplyDeleteMary and Carol are roommates and are discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
ReplyDeleteFirst, they should understand that arguing and just getting loud with each other will not get them anywhere. If they want to move forward and come to an agreement, they should put aside their differences and be mature about the situation. Carol obviously gets the point which is why Mary is not getting a response. Instead, Mary should let Carol have a chance to speak. Carol should apologize and explain her side of the story due to why the bill was paid late. As Carol's roommate, Mary should give her the chance to explain herself.
Rachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
Jim should spend more time with Rachel and be more affectionate towards her. They've been married for a year, it is not a crime to tell your significant other how you feel about them. As a spouse, it is your job to make sure your spouse is happy. Rachel should explain how she is feeling and Jim should hear her out as her husband.
Scenario 1 (E and I):
ReplyDeleteMary and Carol are roommates and are discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
I believe that mary and carol should have made an agreement from the begging about paying the bills. For example, before getting a roommate you should make guidelines of what needs to be done. Sometimes people need to understand that theirs going to be difficulties but, carol should have told mary before hand that his payment was going to be late. Mary needs to know how to control her tone of voice and talk out a conversation like a mature adult. Carol needs to know how to be more responsible and notify his roommate during any circumstances so that way they can be on the same page. I know that having a roommate may be hard and frustrating once things get out of pocket but, it is possible to fix things and work things out.
Scenario 3 (T and F):
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
Being married a year and for Rachel to already complain is really not a good sign. Just because a person doesn't say I love you all the time doesn't mean the person stops loving them. I think for marriage Rachel and her husband jim should find a good therapist. For example, when small stuff start turning to a big problem, I think its best to fix things right away so that way things don't get out of pocket. Jim should just be more understanding of his wife if he does care for her feelings but words with affirmations is not always the key to love.
I can improve my communication and listening skills by minimizing my distractions when I am listening to someone, focusing on being here now. I can also improve these skills by asking questions for clarification. People often do not fully understand what a person is saying, so asking questions will help to clarify things. Finally, I can practice not judging too soon. When in the middle of conversation we hear things that are surprising or capture our attention. We stop listening and turn our focus to these things. I will listen until the speaker is done talking before I talk so I can make sure I have all of the information and do not get anything mixed up. I can use these techniques with every person in my life. For more personal people in my life such as my family members or my girlfriend I can also use the technique of looking for the main point. I often space out when talking to my family members because I have been talking to them my whole life and sometimes feel like I know what they are going to say. Really I do not always know what they are going to say or what point they are trying to make. Looking for the main point can improve my communication with them.
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