Over
the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned
is "happiness." I'm not sure if we know what happiness is or when we
have accomplished this goal. I just read a book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman.
He is a psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The
following are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think
about them and add your comments.
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
The second post really got my attention. I feel like many of us people are so caught up with the past and everything negative about the past that we can not enjoy the current life we live now. Also, the people surround us make a huge difference in our lives, because those who surround us and make us motivated to reach our goals make a huge difference. It is always good to be surrounded with people who support you in every step of the way. Another reason i think that defines happiness is setting a goal for the future that i would be willing to reach and work very hard to reach it. Engaging in activities and being thankful for everything we have right now is great and a blessing in some way. Being successful in school and maintaining such good grades also defines happiness because i see school very important to me and it is what defines me as a person. Being well educated gets you to be respected and known by others, which leads us to be better people and have better lives. Having good family that surrounds us and takes care of us is also one of the most important things for being happy as well.
ReplyDeleteIn order to achieve true happiness one must do what they truly love to be happy. Surrounding yourself with people you love and enjoy to be around. Being positive and not worry about the the things that don't matter. Live in the moment, don't worry about the past and focus on the future.Enjoy what you are doing at the moment and not think about the negatives. Define what you want to be and do in life so you are not lost and know you have a goal to achieve. Live and love more because life is short. Nothing lasts forever, but a college degree does. Being successful is another aspect of being happy of course. Knowing you have achieved your goals and living a stress free life would be the most amazing feeling. Lastly, just the simple things, laughing, smiling and enjoy your life.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate what Seligman brings out here as to the eight ideas to increase happiness. I truly do agree with him as to all of these ideas and feel that they can all contribute to happiness. I think we do all focus too much on things that we want or are looking forward to rather than simply living in the moment and enjoying what we currently have. While striving for a better life, more education, a more stable financial situation, or whatever the case maybe, I feel we need to also experience and enjoy the now. I love the idea of “flow,” which is our gratification when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths. I want to do all I can to keep my flow going! Unlike Seligman however, I do believe that having more good moments than bad contribute to happiness. At the same time though, I feel that bad times aid in us appreciating the good times that much more. Keeping an open and positive mind about the future while taking time to take in the present will keep you happy. I am also a strong believer in removing anyone or anything in life that steals your happiness.
ReplyDeleteI have truly enjoyed and learned so much from this class! I only wish I would have taken it prior to my final semester. Thank you so much for all of the advice and education, it is truly appreciated and will help me in all aspects of life going forward.
~Christina Grant
You have some good thoughts on happiness. Glad you enjoyed the course. Best wishes as you continue your education.
DeleteHappiness for me is being able to look at where I am in life and being satisfied but also still chanting more success. I also look find joy in the title things in life such as enjoying a car ride or a walk around the neighbor hood. Because that's what it takes for me to be happy with where I am in life. Sometimes I find myself getting over whelmed with school, work, and my relationship I can't help but feel a little stressed and therefore not happy, but when this happens I try to enjoy the little things in life and dwell on I the pressure I am under. Also life is very good to me at some points too. Life's like a roller coaster, there's a lot of ups, downs and plateaus so you might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride because you only get to do this life thing once. Happiness means to me but at the same time being sad makes you feel alive and it also takes a person to reach a real low point in there lives to really appreciate true happiness. Happiness doesn't have to be a grand gesture or buying a lot of materialistic things that society convinces you need to be happy, its about living each day and trying to improve you self and also just being grateful for what you have already done for yourself. I appreciate the words of Seligman because although we say some of those ideas to ourselves everyday its good to read that people go through the same thing as each other everyday, the struggle to be happy.
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ReplyDeleteSeligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness.
1. “Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities.” Some people may think that just because they might have messed up in the past that there is no room for improvement or to better yourself with better decisions. I agree with Martin on this one.
2.” Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events.” Its not always healthy to sit and stress and dwell on what has already happened, you cant change it. Be greatful for what you have and don’t dwell on what you don’t have.
3. “Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting.”
Forgive and forget is the best method when it comes to solving a problem. This has helped me in many situations.
In order to achieve pure happiness you must do something you never done to get something you never had. Postivie mindset, wishful thinking, and following steps to increase happiness will insure you a bright future. All of martins ideas are great ideas to pure happiness, I agree with them and feel as if they have already made a huge impact on my life and how I feel. Other things can bring happiness to life, doing what you love, like sports. Hanging out with friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend. Do what you love and don’t forget the laughs and
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this completely. At times, we are too focused on the past that we do not act in time to fix the current situations which inevitably ruin our future. The future is ours to make and can change within a snap. Every decision thus far has led us to where we are today. I believe that without a doubt. If we keep thinking negatively and focus on what had happened in the past, we cannot build a successful future.
5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them.
For quite sometime I focused on making everyone happy and proud of me that I had forgotten about myself. I stopped doing things that I like and I was a grumpy person. Not until recently did I realize that giving myself time to do things I love and that make me happy, essentially makes me a happy and healthy person for myself and for everyone else.
Life can be very difficult sometimes. There are many challenges that are thrown in our lives and sometimes we think negatively. In turn, we give up and become slaves to our own negative minds. Happiness is being able to get out of the funk and tell myself that it might be hard at times but it will be worth it in the end. Happiness is my family because they are there to love me no matter what happens. Happiness is taking care of my body and making sure that I live a healthy life and be strong enough to overcome all the difficulties and enjoy the experiences.
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ReplyDeleteIn the future I intend to put 100% effort in anything that I do. I want to do this because people often complain about things being too hard or impossible when in reality they are not giving their full effort. If I attempt something and fail I want to at least be able to say that I tried to the best of my ability. True happiness, to me is the greatest achievement of all. I do not seek much power, fame or fortune. Instead, most of all want a job that I love and a loving family. I do not want to be the filthy rich guy that has no one to truly share and enjoy his wealth with. Therefore, wealth to me is happiness, not money. I want to live modestly with no major worries. We all have problems but I do not want the type of self-inflicted problems. I agree with Martin Seligman’s ideas. Happiness can be achieved just like a goal can. We all just have to take steps and actions to make that possible. For some people it is harder than others but I am an optimist that really believes we all can be happy if we choose.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this class and have gained so much insight from it. Thank you.
I enjoyed having you in class and you did put in 100% effort. Best wishes as you continue your education.
DeleteHappiness to me means many things to me. God, family, exercise and helping the people in need make me happy. God has been an amazing inspirational person in my life but I have my own personal beliefs. I feel like everything happens for a good reason and without god I don't know were I would be. Having a family that loves me and provides for me makes me the happiest person in life. All the support I have from my family just couldn't get any better. Exercising has been a stress free for me. Being able to loose weight, be in good shape and work out my stress makes me happy. Helping the need has motivated me so much because, I love to see other people that are really grateful . I know that I always want to help out other people but it makes me so happy. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say no to helping anyone . I appreciate everything that comes my way regardless of any situation All this makes me happy and brings me good joy. I’m lucky but I know its hard for some people to find or have happiness. Just make sure you save and keep those best moments in memory forever.
ReplyDeleteWhat I view upon the post that was delivered I believe that the past does not determine the future. The past is just temporary that it'll not last forever. Eric Thomas states," Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, an hour, a day or even a year but eventually it will subside and something else will takes its place. If I quit, however, it'll last forever. So it's just about sacrificing who I am now for the person that I want to become.In my point of view, happiness means being confident of who you are and make your dreams become a reality with no stress. For the future, I plan to finish my studies at a four year college and receive my degree in order for me to live like how iI want to and be who I want to become.
ReplyDeleteGlad you did not quit and are moving on with your education. Best wishes for your future success!
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ReplyDeleteI always believe in these words happiness is about what you give, is not about what you have. I am really happy when I could help someone who needs help. No matter what value things we have because they all change with continuing life, and appear new things. The important thing is to have satisfaction in what we have and appreciate it. In order to know the secrets to happiness, we have to practice some activities that become a habit. We should express gratitude, and appreciate what we have. Our family is a great gift that we have, and they deserve our appreciation. It’s good to look at the bright side of the life. I think we should not focus on our problems and thinking of why we are unhappy, and start to yell saying stop to ourselves. Doing something kind for others increases our own personal happiness and gives us satisfaction. Savor the future by anticipating and visualizing positive events or outcomes in the future. Goals provide structure and meaning to our lives and improve self-esteem. Engaging in physical activity provides many opportunities for increasing happiness.
ReplyDeleteWhat does happiness mean to you?
ReplyDeleteHappiness is admittedly rather hard to define; most of us probably feel that we’d be perfectly happy if we just made a couple of thousand more per year. I’ll certainly admit that one awesome aspect of happiness would be not having to stress and worry about how I was going to pay the bills each month. I really want to be making enough one day so that some of the basic expense worries would just fade away into distant memory; expenses such as rent, utilities, car payments, food, tuition, etc… Of course there are always going to be things that we can’t afford and that’s totally fine, but it would be really nice to be above the basic stress line where you’re carefully watching and worrying about every single expenditure. Financial worries aside, my most important wishes for happiness would be to see my children grow up as healthy, intelligent, well-educated and moral individuals, for my wife and me to always be as close as we are now, and to have a meaningful and interesting career. Health is important too of course; it’s fairly difficult to enjoy your life from a hospital bed. (Or a grave for that matter.) So, “in pursuit of happiness,” I’m trying to further my education and advance my career, teach my kids well, love my wife as much as I can, stay healthy and fit, and keep on refusing to worry about all the aspects of life that are out of my control!
You have a healthy attitude that will take you far. Best wishes as you continue your education at SDSU. I know you will be successful there.
DeleteI'd also like to say that I wish everyone all the best as we go on from this class, it has been a pleasure studying with you.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Gabriel
I like to think that happiness is subjective. A little boy in Africa may be ecstatic to have some water where as a rich white girl in America would be happy her daddy got her a G wagon AMG edition. Or another example, maybe an individual is happy they have family compared to another who is happy he finally divorced his wife and is now able to enjoy being a bachelor again. So happiness is subjective, therefore I couldn't say what others would be made happy by but I can defintiely share my opinon of what makes me happy. Happiness is a life without the stress of bad health, it is a life full of genuine love and friendship, it is a life where learning is available and taken advantage of, and especially a life blessed with the presence of God the father. Happiness is also the ability to be able to do whatever it is you want, to an extent of course. But wealth is a part of happiness that may be less important to the others but it surely is important. I don't know of many people who deal with financial struggles to be happy, or to be as happy as people without them. Overall, the simple things in life should not be taken for granted and neither should the extravagant. Life is beautiful. “The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.”
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me means success. Happiness is a feeling that is meant to be shared. My personal happiness comes from making my family proud. I have goals that I want to achieve in my life. I constantly remind myself of what I'm working for and who I am working to please. I honestly think that more than me wanting to do well I care more that I do not disappoint my family. I know that I am going to enjoy a lot of success in my future but I also realize the hardships that I will incur along the way. This is an exciting year and month for me, I am going to be embarking on another educational journey in my transfer. I still have yet to decide which university I will commit to but I do know that I am excited at the prospects of another intellectual challenge. Improving myself makes me happy. I want to continue to grow and mature as a person and I feel that this class has helped me do that. It feels as if I graduating high school all over again but this time I will be going to a prestigious University that will help me achieve my career goals.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes as you continue your education at a university!
DeleteHappiness for me means that Im surrounded with healthy friends and family members and am on track with my career and school goals. Happiness means that im doing well at my current job, meaning taking appointments on time and turning an unfortunate situation for a customer into a positive one. Happiness also means that im doing well in school and getting closer to graduating.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me means being able to live and learn. Having the capacity to love unconditionally, while knowing and being able to let go when it is not healthy anymore. Being able to express gratitude and taking in the blessings whether they are good or bad, or whether we are able to see them as blessings in disguise. it is important for me to know that I am capable of change, while also reminding myself that other a re as well. Savoring life's joys makes me happy. I don't have a lot of money, and I really don't own many great possessions. However, I love deeply and my children adore me. I hols a box of treasures in a box that I see through the pictures within. But the greatest happiness is what I hold in my mind and in my heart. Happiness is not held, it's felt. We an only have it if we can feel it.
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ReplyDeleteI do believe that the past does determine someone’s future, rather that our past helps us to create a better future because we are able to learn from our mistakes. I feel that it is a good to be grateful for everything good in your past, but not to spend too much time focusing on the past because you may not want to move forward. Although, I do feel that people should take a little bit of time to reflect on past mistakes so that they can learn from them and develop a sort of confidence to not make those same mistakes as before. Although it is very cliché to say, I do feel that life is too short to hold grudges. Holding a grudge against someone takes a lot of energy and creates negative emotions that will prevent you from being truly happy. I feel that the most important step to being happy is to be more optimistic about your future. For instance, by telling yourself that you can achieve your goals will help to give you more confidence and motivation about taking the steps next to achieve those goals. I also feel that by taking time to savor the happy times gives you a break from whatever is going on in your life and allows you to come back to your life with a positive attitude and a better outlook on your life.
I am in agreement with Martin Seligman when he says that the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have. I think that the more things you have, the less value we seem to have on them, so we don't appreciate them like we should because we're overdoing it by wanting more and more, so we'll always feel empty. We should appreciate the things we do have, that will make us happier. Happiness to me is looking forward and being positive about my future goals, and not thinking negatively about possibilities that might or might not happen. I won't hold myself back because of my negative thoughts. When I think positively about my future, I feel more excited and happy to take it on and see it come to fruition. Just because I am excited and hopeful for my future, doesn't mean I neglect the present. I live day to day in life, meaning I don't let myself held captive by the past but instead focus on the present while keeping an eye out for the future. I enjoy what my present life have to offer, I'm enjoying raising my kids and see them grow into wonderful adults. And I'm enjoying being in school and having this opportunity to learn and develop myself for my future career. I appreciate these moments greatly because they make me happy.
ReplyDelete1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this because your past is meant to be put behind you, you're meant to learn and you're consistently changing. The future is open to many possibilities, many windows. It's about what you do with your life.
2. Take time to enjoy the present moment.
If you're too busy worrying about what could have been or what will be, you won't be able to enjoy the present. Sometimes you need to just take a step back and enjoy the now. You'll regret it in the long run and you'll be a lot happier enjoy the now rather worrying about what could of been or what could be.
Happiness to me is having good health and a loving family. It comes from within' and not from materialistic things. Happiness is what you make it. If you remain bitter, angry, or just sad you won't reach happiness. Sometimes you have to pick yourself up in rough situations and just carry on with your life. Enjoy the moment and be grateful that you've woken up in the morning and be thankful for your health.
Happiness to me means more than one thing to me. Happiness to me is when I can take a moment to think to myself about how life is only hard if we make it hard. We are in control of changing our bad habits into good habits our negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Even if it takes time to change our bad habits, we need to visualize the future and why we are changing our bad habits. Happiness to me is also when I can forget about daily tasks for a bit to enjoy the little things in life. I have always strongly believed humans can refresh their moods if they can escape from their daily obligations for an hour or day. We only get to experience each day once and we need to cherish each moment, especially the special ones that make us happy. I know any moment I hear my daughter’s contagious laugh I stop what I am doing because seeing her happy makes me happy. Watching her be happy is also a reminder to myself that I must be doing something right if my daughter is happy the majority of the time. Happiness to me is the unconditional love I have for my daughter.
ReplyDeleteGreat job on all the posts this week. I have enjoyed having everyone in class and wish you the best for the future. Go back and read this page if you have any doubts about how to proceed.
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